Make Some Noise
This wasn’t really part of the plan, but since this track is out there we wanted to let you hear it here first, or maybe second. Enjoy
Mike
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the average love affair
it’s been tough between us,
probably more
unfair
than the average
love affair
and that’s unfortunate
but not unbearable
and to be honest
it’s mostly your
fault
you can’t make
your mind up
over
anything
and it’s
hard to
deal with someone
like that.
the joy you bring me
is inconvenient
and
i’ll light
a cigar
and lean back
in my chair,
feet on
my wide
and empty desk
when your
heart
finally
tugs
at my sleeve.
relapse!
or like, the equivalent of tv static going through my head.
we went on an amazing trip to Maine, and finally had “the talk” about what happens when I leave.
We both were able to just speak honestly and put everything out on the table.
the short story is, he DOES have feelings for me, but to make any kind of decision right now doesn’t make sense where we are in life. And I guess I agree.
We actually had to kind of say bye today
And i was fine with it, and then he said something like, oh well our nice dynamic we had here is over.
And I cried. Which, I didn’t think I would cry. But all I could think of was that I’m just going to be another one of his “friends” he has all over the place that he has some history with and still talks to.
When I told him this, he said that its not that simple. and that I mean a lot to him, and that he hopes it does work out.
thats good right? I really want to believe thats true. That like he wants to at least try to make it work ( as friends) and see where we end up in life and if that works for the both of us.
I’m just so used to endings being abrupt and terrible and hurtful.
This one was just bittersweet and sad because we both know that at a different time this would have been an actual relationship.
humph.
oh.
I graduate tom.
ugh don’t have time to write about the feels but so many updates!
I just wanna be done with feeling like such a failure and thinking in my head “what are all the possible shitty things they’re going to notice and what am i going to say about it, and why can’t i make nicer things like everyone else”
bnkm1